It's Christmas Eve! Exactly 4 years and 4 hours ago I physically lost one of the smartest, most wonderful human beings that graced this earth. Once I was told the end was near, it was an excruciating 4 hours. I remember sitting on the ER floor. I was by myself but I wasn't alone. I would never have made it through those hours or been able to make the decisions I made without Audrey Sharpsteen, the crew of 4-town (who stayed with me to the end) and Ray who was only a phone call (or 2-3 or 4) away. Lee stayed home w/ Mom and Jess was at home in Cortland with a new baby. Dad never wanted to have a debilitating illness or be a burden to anyone. He was always looking for his own personal Doctor Kevorkian. When the Dr. asked if they could intubate , hopefully giving them time to put in a pacemaker.....it became a decision akin to, do I jump off the Brooklyn Bridge or not? I knew what Dad's answer would be but...............could I be responsible for saying "no" when it could have given me more breakfasts w/ him? I said, "Ok" and within minutes.... he was gone anyway. As if to say, "Listen Missy, what part of DNR didn't you understand?" He always had the last word! Miss you like crazy Dad.....How you would love Bailee and how she would love you...How proud you would be of Jess... Going to school, owns her own home and is a remarkable Mom. Jeff is doing better... and successful at his job too.... he has a great girlfriend and makes us proud and makes us laugh! I'm doing my best to take care of Mom... I believe she's happy and content and still physically healthy. I'm not sure why I'm writing this as you can't read blogs on a typewriter and I'm fairly certain (like positive) you don't have a computer up there. Just wanted you to know, we're OK... Have a great Christmas w/ Steve... See you one day!
Love,
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