The Harvest Moon eclipse.  Last night was a photographer's dream.  Full harvest moon, lunar eclipse, clear skies and mild temperatures.  All fell into place nicely.  Low clouds hung over the horizon just enough to make the rising of the moon bless us with some wonderfully eerie fall photos.  Shortly thereafter, the moon rose above the clouds and the shadows began to fall. Right on schedule at 9:07 a reddish haze began to slowly march across the craters, one by one. It's really quite spectacular how the astronomers know the exact second these phenomenons will occur but they were right on the money. Now, if I could get just one of those fellows to come to my house and fix my computer, all would be right with the world. I spoke (and I use the term loosely) with a gentleman whom I quite sure is a wonderful guy, loved by his family and friends, intelligent beyond his years and was sitting behind a desk in Bangledesh. Pretty sure I've never said, "excuse me" so many time in a 60 minute time period.  Then a couple of times HE actually said, "excuse ma'am but I can't understand you very well!" seriously..WTF, YOU can't understand Me? I glanced in the mirror and saw no dot on my forehead so I quickly deduced that this conversation was going absolutely nowhere and I had just totally wasted 58 minutes of my Sunday morning. Shouldn't he have been kneeling on a mat somewhere instead of trying to fix my computer 7000 miles away?
Anyway, my point being that some huge things are unfathomably accomplished while seemingly tiny problems can't be solved. I can't seem to get a call returned from 20 miles away. Thank God for my iPhone!

All Hands on ........D-ck!

Hear ye, Hear ye.....calling all Hatfield men (and women.)  It's time to dispel all rumors.  Here we have proof positive that:


It does not make you go blind


Practice does make perfect


Only frustrated people masturbate.. (Jett might be a bit frustrated and confined)


It does not make your hair fall out (or does it...Lee?)


It does not cause hair growth on your palms...


You will not run out of semen


Everyone does it.... even in the womb  ( seriously, what else is there to do in there?)


It will not stunt your growth... This guy is already 10 inches long  (in body not penis)


It does not lead to psychological problems ( it may however, lead to writing your feelings in a blog)




You probably will never see these on Mythbusters....You're welcome!

New Ventures

There is no end to the services provided here at EIEIO.  My newest chicken residents are silkies by breed.  I have always loved their beautiful feathers, tufted heads and furry feet. I got three silkie chicks in the spring with two of them being roosters.  One chicken ranch does not need an abundance of roosters.....no place needs an abundance of males...period.  We were fortunate to be able to send one of the roosters to a neighboring farm leaving us with a pair.  It's been my goal to have a male and female of all our critters to procreate and save the world in case of flooding.  I may have to make an exception to my rule with Mr. Silkie.  If they had a chicken porn industry, this guy would be their leading cock...(sorry!) He chases Miss Silk-Worm around the pen, around the yard, around the patio till he can nail her about every 10 minutes.... I am not exaggerating!!  Listen, NO woman wants that... He has become abusive to the point of tearing her feathers from her back, grabbing her "crown" and yanking her head back!  She refuses to go into the pen at night (can't blame her) and hides when it's time to secure all and close the gate.  It's so bad that she has opted for sleeping outside surrounded by luring and hungry coyotes, weasels, hawks and owls. She will sleep on the stoops of our front or back doors in hopes that her humans will protect her.  We now have opened a shelter for abused hens in our garage.  She will have her own nesting box, food and water and an occasional snuggle with Lee....true story.... She was in the house with him the other night...."Isn't she cute?" "Yes dear, but remember she shits and has even less control over her sphincter muscle than you do!"   The end!



This guy needs to Cock a Doodle Don't !!!

Early Birthday

At our house, we love birthdays... early ones, late ones and sometimes we even celebrate birthdays of people we don't know.. it's just who we are!
Saturday we celebrated Jeff's birthday...2 months and 8 days early...but who's counting. There was a bit of method to my madness as I knew that he should take a bow hunting course prior to getting his license and they are usually given right about now! So, it seemed prudent...and necessary that we celebrate early.  Nobody said that we won't do it all over again come November 27th. In fact, I'm pretty sure we will! Birthdays are pretty important around EIEIO.  Even the chickens have them!








I had no idea what this bow looked like or how it worked. I was picturing the old fashioned type "Robin Hood" bow. I was mistaken (write that down)....this beauty works pretty much like a gun...scope and all. I feel a little sorry for the neighborhood deer who I have stalked all summer . I have beautiful pictures of them and now I'm afraid they may appear in their obituaries:-(  I must muster up the thought that this too, is a sport and at least the family is doing something outside together.  I prefer the sport of football but I would never dream of eating one..... different strokes for different folks.

Fantasy Island

Week one is under our belts and I squeaked it out.  Each year I keep thinking that I should be becoming more skillful in my picks and each year I realize that this "fundertaking" is 90% luck and 10% skill. When I first began playing, I chose with my heart... Buffalo this and Seattle that..(my two favorite teams.)  Then one year I actually bought a Fantasy Football magazine and started reading about the players...both veterans and newbies. I should have gotten better.  The next year I chose my picks carefully and had them all listed for draft day.  I should have gotten better! This year I actually Tivo'd and watched Fantasy Football shows on the sports networks and decided I would go in with some knowledge. I should have gotten better.  In fact, I nearly forgot about the draft time and only squeaked in by the hair on my chinny chin chin (a blog for another day) with a text from my week one opponent and the Commish. (Thanks Resa Dee.)  I wasn't even at home and had to use Jeff's laptop and my memory to compile my draft list... Thank God that Jeff's girlfriend's daughter's father (whew) had wheeled in and given me a heads up on a couple of rookies. (no, that's not cheating... that's research!) I should have gotten better.


Regardless of my prowess...or lack thereof...Fantasy Football makes the season even more fun..if that's possible.  Now, I'm rooting for players I don't even know, for teams I don't even like to score against players I have chosen because I like them versus their age, their skills and their records.  We'll see what the rest of the season holds but it sure is exciting...especially when I have nothing invested but recliner time and high hopes! On any given Sunday.....I should be getting better!!

You must be nuts!

As I sit at my desk, I'm watching the leaves come sailing across the yard. We are blessed (or cursed) with a multitude of black walnut trees.  They are the last of the trees to get their leaves in the spring and the first to lose them in the fall.  The falling walnuts are a hazard to the lawnmower and really should be gathered and given to someone who will use them.  They would make a wonderful cake or beautiful black stain for basket weavers. I do understand that they, however, can be harmful to my feathered family.  Hopefully I can keep them full of nutritious treats so they leave the green, fuzzy nuts alone.. If it were me, I'd certainly stay clear of green, fuzzy nuts...just sayin' !!


Nuts are pretty popular this fall. I even have a picture of tiny little nuts sitting framed on my desk. They are our newest favorite nuts...Jett nuts!  I must admit that I look at them several times a day. I don't think that makes me strange!  Do you?  I really never thought that little nuts would excite me quite this much. I mean it's been years since nuts were even on my list of favorite things much less at the top of the list.


One thing is for sure.. I am NUTS about fall and all signs point to it being right around the corner. I think I'll go make some brownies to celebrate....with nuts of course!!!

Sad - Glad

Old memories of September 11th make us sad but since we have Lacie Walter in our lives, it makes us glad.  Today we celebrate Lace's birthday....32 years old.. the youngest of my kiddos. It has been such a fun 2 years since she joined our family.  Jess has gained a sister, Bailee an aunt and we have gained another daughter, granddaughter and grandson......not to mention how she's brightened Jeff's life.


We're hoping for a wonderful year ahead for all of us.. Thanks Lace for giving us something awesome to look forward to. ( I know, I ended the sentence with a preposition!)


Happy Birthday and many more:-) ♥♥♥

Boy oh Boy

It's official.  It's beautiful, it's busy and it has a penis.  What a spectacular day we had on Saturday.  Lacie and Jeff, Julz, Pam and I ventured to the Baby Moment Spa in Rochester to see what we could see.  We arrived on time and found out that Saturday's babies were all hiding and a bit uncooperative. We settled in for a wait!  Our turn came and we anxiously took our places in the viewing room. The gal who owns the Spa was the technician and immediately we loved her.  She wanted to know what our best guess was as to gender and we all, but Julz, said girl....we'd have bet the farm on it.  She carefully began searching for baby parts and then asked, "Who were the psychics that predicted girl?"
We all nodded in the affirmative, except Julz.  "Well, this girl has a PENIS!" I'm pretty sure you could have heard us whooping and hollering for miles.  High fives, huge hugs and lots of tears all around.  There was absolutely no denying that picture.  He may have been covering his face but his other parts were there for the world to see.  I haven't cared anything about seeing a penis for years but I couldn't stop looking at that one!!!  In fact I have it framed on my desk....Slutty Grandma that I am!!!!  We continued on to see perfect little hands, tiny little feet, a sucking little mouth and even a smile....Yes, we know it was a smile.  We even got a little wave!  He's not a docile little boy. He enjoyed moving those legs and waving those arms.  Jeff loved that he had his penis thrown over his shoulder.. we all knew it was the umbilical cord but we hastened to burst his bubble. 
Their plan was pink or blue bubble gum to announce the gender so we stopped at 5 different stores finally finding it in Moravia.... They all chewed a lot of gum but the announcement was made and the world rejoiced,,,,,well at least our world did.  Papa, PopPop and Julz knew all along but the rest of us were over the moon to be wrong!!!!
Jett Hewitt Hatfield is a handsome, healthy little boy and content to just lay in there and grow. We'll see you in February little man....the Hewitt name...lives on♥♥♥

1st Day of 4th Grade!!

What a busy week it's been... So much wonderful news but today will be ABC day.. All Bailee Conversation!  This morning it was pictures, new clothes, heavy backpack, new teacher and the beginning of 4th grade!  At the end of 3rd grade, she was a little unhappy as she didn't get her teacher of choice.... even an 8 year old must learn about disappointment!  After a few months of pep talks, I'm sure all will be fine and she'll love 4th grade.... maybe not quite as much as 3rd grade but that kind of teacher often only comes a long once in a lifetime.   Mine was Mrs. Maroney...2nd grade, in the old Locke school! And yes, I do remember.  I can see the school, the cafeteria, the gym (same place) and my classroom.  ( I can't remember much of yesterday but Mrs. Maroney is clear as a (school) bell!)  It doesn't seem possible that we'll only have one more photo session in front of the elementary school.. Thank Goodness that another grandbaby is coming along.
Fourth grade will be a bit tougher.  The coddling days are over, the printing must be neat, play time is at a minimum and then there are those state tests..... you know how I feel about those!!  There will also be new experiences as this year there are clubs to join, instruments to play, choruses to sing and art to enjoy.
I've decided that if I could freeze time with B, it would be now.  I love her wit, her knowledge, her sarcasm, her honesty and her love of learning. Our one on one time compares to nothing! I hope this is her very best year ever and that she'll always remember that she's my very favorite granddaughter ;-)

See you in September

September is here and I'm thrilled.  It's always been my "first day of the year."  From the time I can remember, the first day of school was my new beginning.  It used to be that the Moravia Fair was held around mid August and it seemed to be the first time you grabbed a sweatshirt or sweater.  Labor Day was the official end of summer but not really for those of us on the lake.  We lived at the cottage from May to October and we had plenty of lake time left...without everybody there. There were no sports for girls then (no Title 9) so only my brother Steve had practices of any kind. The first day pictures were always taken by the steps leading to railroad tracks...the steps with our hand prints ceremoniously placed in the concrete,  Nobody complained and we all looked pretty sharp with our new clothes, fresh haircuts and polished sneakers.
The tradition continued as Jeff and Jess, often reluctantly, stood tall for their pictures on the stairs at 929 and then more on the porch and even more on the steps of the bus. Now it's Bailee in front of the Rose of Fuzzy bush and another in front of her classroom with her new teacher.  Even typing, I have a lump in my throat thinking she'll be a 4th grader with only 2 more picture days at the Elementary School. Time flies! Thank God that I can do it all over again when Baby Hat reaches school age.
This year will go fast as we have much to look forward to.  Bailee will be learning to play the saxophone,,more than just the 3 notes she's mastered now, Baby Hat will be here this winter preceded by holidays, birthdays and showers and then spring will burst through again. 
I love this time of year for so many reasons....I hope it lingers for weeks , then covers us with a blanket of nice clean snow.  (no haters)...just Happy New Year to all!

Take your best SHOT!

Yesterday I headed to the new "protocol" BP check that I ranted about last week.  I figured I might as well see exactly what I needed in the way of immunizations. I've been walking around guilt ridden since the new whooping cough commercial began airing a few weeks. I'm pretty sure they were talking directly to me..  "Would you put your new grandchild at risk of the dreaded whooping cough virus?"  So, I got the new booster that's generally given to kids, DPT.  My one time dose of prevention against diphtheria, tetanus and whooping cough.  You're welcome Baby Hat! Shots don't bother me but this morning I'm sure I was whacked in the arm by a wrecking ball. Old muscles don't tolerate sharp objects quite as they used to.
I then asked about these other well advertised booster shots.......most are aimed strictly at Senior Citizens.  A shingles shot? ( I'd rather do the reminiscing with Terry Bradshaw)  A pneumonia shot? ( I'm cold tolerant) A flu shot? ( never had it, don't want it) Opted out of all but did take the script for the shingles shot.  I was mulling them all in my head but all I could see was my arm flapping in the wind riddled with needle holes...A butterfly net came to mind!
Today I'm good to go if I travel to a 3rd world country, step on a rusty nail or encounter the nasty cough virus.  The others will just have to wait...I am, however, considering a shot of Baileys!