Be Still my Heart

Well, my worst nightmare is in full swing and unfortunately, I'm wide awake.  I can handle the ones in my sleep where I'm crawling across the road and traffic is coming, I can "dream" through the ones where I still can't remember my locker combination and I'm chastised for the millionth time that this is the last time they will give it to me and I can even plod through having my teeth crumble and fall out....but this is more than I can stomach.

Bailee is gone....she chose to go with a mother who left her behind with no notice, no hug, and no good-bye. I get it..it's her mother....it's also a mother who chose a man over her daughter, sold the only home she had ever known and left her behind.  I seriously believe it's the same dilemma battered wives have as they continue to live with abusive men in the worst of situations.

But...this is a 13-year-old mind, which by the way, is far superior to other household members. This girl's emotions have been toyed with for over 3 years...actually 13 as she lived through the trauma of an abusive father, spoke up in court and was victorious in her adolescent rights to not see him.  All this girl has ever wanted is "to be a priority in her (Mom) life and live a normal life!"  Not too much for a child to ask!  She stated so many times that she just wanted everyone to be happy and if she made one happy, someone else was sad.  Who puts a child in that situation?

Now, the situation is this. She is 1300 miles away in a city where she knows no one but her mother and her boyfriend. She is living with 7 other people, she has no bedroom, no personal items, and no bed!!! There is no family nearby in case of emergency and believe me the "help calls" have been many when she was 2 minutes away!  She is going to a new school, wearing a uniform, riding a bus and meeting new teachers who have no handle on the situation and many overly-tanned classmates. I pray her judgment is intact on who to trust and who to avoid...I have NEVER been so fearful for her well being.

Possibly the scariest words were when I said to her mother, "Please take good care of her," and her reply was...."We will Mom, she's with us!"   I know:-(

Blogging drama...sorry folks:-(