A Womb with a View

Two birthdays and Thanksgiving are the "done" list.  Now we can anticipate holiday lunches, concerts, dinners and the associated festivities.  November comes to a close today and December will be in full swing tomorrow.  This is the busiest time ever.  Not only are we anticipating Santa and the trimmings but showers and a Jett.  The timing is really perfect as a generally cold and blustery January and February turn most people off and inside.....  NOT this year!!!!

For the past 7 months, we have had just a taste of what size our Jett might be.  We've gone from a grain of rice to a full blown holiday, butternut squash today.  Next Monday will be week 30. I still marvel at the fact that a human can be grown (from what I used to think was) a pleasurable activity. Trying to catch a glimpse of him moving and wiggling in his Mama gives me more joy than anything I've seen to date.... with the exception of Bailee's birth which was my showstopper!!  Jeff is getting excited which is fun to watch too.  He has completely redone the nursery and it's looking spectacular. This is still a bit foreign to him but I can't wait to see him with their creation... Emotional doesn't even cover it.  I can't express to him how much this will be a life changer.

So, being the end of the Thankful month, I will give my final 2015 TIATF:

Jeff's decisions...he returned home, found an amazing woman to spend his life with, gave us a new "granddaughter" to marvel, the best in-laws we could ask for and now, our first grandson. The anticipation makes me literally giddy!

So to all of you who follow me on Face Book, if you think my Womb without a View Veggies and Fruits are driving you nuts each week, Look out...............The Jett's landing in 10 short weeks!

Suits me just fine.....

Last night I was watching Jimmy Fallon.  He was hawking a new product from JCrew called, The Pocket Dial.





I thought, how clever is that.... covers your phone and gives you a pocket hankie all in one..  "Hmmm, now who could I get one for?"..............Sadly, absolutely no one!  Nobody I know still wears a suit or sport coat to work.....NOBODY :-(  My Dad wore a shirt, tie and jacket ( pants too) to work every single day!!! Who's to say whether he would have a cell phone or not....I'm pretty sure that's a big NOT! It took him 20 years to give in to computers at Hewitt Brothers....but back to my original whine!  Every day in our lives in 2015 seems to be casual Friday.  That's not a bad thing really but it's more a sign of the times, at least in my mind, that a little bit of respect is gone.  Not saying that folks should be judged by the way they dress but somehow a smartly dressed man (or woman) demands that touch of respect.  When I was in school, male teachers wore suits and jackets and always wore a tie.  Female teachers didn't wear pants and certainly never wore jeans.  Now, don't send me dirty looks...I know it's an entirely different time ...and century but I'm still entitled to my "remember whens!" 
We live in the country in small town America where we know everybody and everybody knows us.  I guess we're all just a little more laid back then we were in the sixties...shocker.  Today, about the only place to find a suit is the bank or maybe your lawyers office. That's it!!!!  Maybe my lawyer needs a Pocket Dial....Where else can you buy a little respect for $48?

All Hands on Deck!

Family dinner to celebrate Bailee's 9th birthday.  We got a chance to feel that Jett was celebrating with us too!  Great evening with our whole, little family together, happy and safe.  Baildini also entertained us with magic tricks that were unbelievable...... I mean really... we didn't believe it!!  Ended the night with cake and Uncle Jeff's show-stopping card trick!!!!!  (Grandma Hewitt only showed him)

Told you!

Today is my sweet, sassy, smart, stylish, stinker, Bailee Brown's NINTH birthday.  Hard to believe that 9 years have passed since we rushed to the hospital that night.  I got to watch you enter this confusing world ( a first for me!)  I got to be the one to separate you from your Mom who had done such a good job keeping you safe and healthy for 9 long months. From day one you were on time.... arriving exactly on your due date!  Good job!!! You were slippery, yellow and looked a little Chinese but you were beautiful.  You were, and always will be, my first grandbaby!  No one will ever replace you in my heart ....or my chair.  I am so proud of the wonderful girl you have become.  You love to read, sing, dance and cuddle.  You are a good student and almost always do your best... I think you've realized that listening facilitates learning a little more than talking but you did fall from the "talking tree" so we'll blame some of the constant chatter on heredity and your volume of Papa's hearing...or lack thereof ;-)

Your sense of humor makes me smile out loud....a lot. You have given us more Baileeisms than we can count... I guess we'll just have to "deal about it!" Your wisdom at such a young age makes me proud.  Your compassion often calms me and you handle adversity pretty well too.  You'll have disappointments that will make you appreciate your successes, struggles that will make you summon patience, discretion and logic and sadness that will let you revel in your happiness! All are part of making you the very best girl you can be....

You'll always be "my girl".....this proves it....

Happy Birthday my love!

Murder Mystery #9

Nines are wild this year.  We all enjoyed Bailee's 9th birthday party last Saturday.  She had 9 folks watching a movie in the theater when suddenly the power went out...When it flickered back on a few seconds later.... one of the movie-goers was DRT (dead right there.)  The rest of the night provided a Murder Board with 9 clues to "whodunit!"  What a fun night! All the party goers joined in to guess who did it, how they did it and why?  Thankfully, the culprit has been apprehended and sentenced to a lifetime of brotherly love!!!!  Yep, it was Jeff.....not even one of the intended suspects.....but then, when is it ever one of the original suspects.

We all feasted on test tubes full of specimens, urine samples, jello hearts and brains and a skull and bones cake.  Everybody left with bellies full of evidence!

Bailee loved all of her gifts from all of her friends and family.  She was the best CSI on the case.  Nines definitely were wild and I must have swallowed a big gulp of Love Potion # 9 because I love this gal...to the Crime Scene and back ♥

Time to talk turkey

It's nearing time when tables are filled with the best of everybody's recipe boxes and a big, fat turkey.  Lee insists that we should eat Original and Crispy but I doubt he could ever bring himself to sacrifice them.  He was so proud the first day that Crispy puffed out those beautiful white feathers and assumed his role as dominant bird of the entire flock.  He insists on buying them delicious treats that actually smell good enough for us to eat and proudly takes their pictures....often... !  The only thing these two will be stuffed with this Thanksgiving is feed and corn and leftovers. BTW, they're not an attractive bird.  Especially with all of those "hang me downy things" which I today learned is called a "snood."  Here is some more interesting turkey talk:

• There are several theories about how turkeys got their name. One story claims the Christopher Columbus heard some birds say “tuka, tuka”, and his interpreter came up with the name tukki, which means “big bird” in hebrew.
• Ben Franklin thought the turkey would be a better national symbol than the bald eagle. According to the Franklin Institute, he wrote in a letter to his daughter:
  “For my own part, I wish the bald eagle had not been chosen as the representative of our country; he is a bird of bad moral character; he does not get his living honestly…like those among men who live by sharping and robbing…he is generally poor, and often very lousy. Besides, he is a rank coward; the little king-bird, not bigger than a sparrow, attacks him boldly and drives him out of the district…For in truth, the turkey is in comparison a much more respectable bird, and withal a true original native of America. Eagles have been found in all countries, but the turkey was peculiar to ours…”
• The average person in the United States will eat 15 pounds of turkey this year.
• The loose red skin attached to the underside of a turkey’s beak is called a wattle. When the male turkey is excited, especially during mating season, the  wattle turns scarlet. The fleshy flap of skin that hangs over the gobbler's beak is called a snood and also turns bright red when the bird is excited.
• The wild turkey is one of the more difficult birds to hunt. It won't be flushed out of the brush with a dog. Instead, hunters must try to attract it with different calls. Even with two seasons a year, only one in six hunters will get a wild turkey.
• By the 1930s, almost all of the wild turkeys in the U.S. had been hunted. Today, thanks to conservation programs, there are plenty of wild turkeys—they even invade cities!
• A male turkey is called a tom, a female is a hen, and a youngster is a poult.
• The domestic tom can weigh up to 50 pounds, the domestic hen up to 16 pounds. The wild tom can weigh up to 20 pounds, the wild hen up to 12 pounds.
• The wild turkey can fly! (It does, however, prefers to walk or run.) The domestic turkey is not an agile flyer, though the bird will perch in trees to stay safe from predators.
• The average life span of a domestic turkey, from birth to freezer, is 26 weeks. During this period of time, it will eat about 75 pounds of turkey feed. The average life span of a wild turkey is three or four years. It generally feeds on seeds, nuts, insects, and berries.
• The wobbly little thing on the turkey’s chest is the turkey's beard and is made up of keratin bristles. Keratin is the same substance that forms hair and horns on other animals.
• Only male turkeys, or toms, can gobble, and they mostly do it in the spring and fall. It is a mating call and attracts the hens. Wild turkeys gobble at loud sounds and when they settle in for the night.

A night and day at Grandma's

Today, I have a ghost writer!!!  Introducing " Bobby Joe! (her/his "go to" name) 


It was a dark and stormy day.  I woke up and wondered what kind of day it would be. I knew Mom would have three kids at the house today. It was a happy day when Grandma called and said I could come over.  She picked me up and we went back to her house.  Uncle Jeff came to visit too.  We decided to see a movie.  We saw the Peanuts movie in 3D.  Grandma didn't like it . She thought it was "dumb!"  I liked it because it was funny. Then we went to Dollar General.  Because I was hungry, we bought macaroni and cheese, a monster (drink) and cranberry ginger ale. All things that a kid must have at Grandma's. We also bought a puzzle and handcuffs so I could practice arresting people.


We took pictures for Grandma's Christmas card.  We made Papa take off his suspenders because they made him look like a grumpy old man. ( Mom said he looked like Great Grandpa or Uncle Arbie.)  I worked most of the night on a puzzle. I was almost done but decided to take a break and watch "Impractical Jokers" which is a pretty funny show. Grandma and I laughed our butts off. Why? Because we could!


It was bedtime and we kicked Papa into the guest room. One of the treats at Grandmas is to sleep NAKED. I crawled into my sleeping bag and went night night.


This morning, I had breakfast in my underwear...... fresh, scrambled, yellow, chicken eggs. They were yummy.  For breakfast dessert I had chocolate soup...which is really just melted vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce.  This is the life.... I would never be able to do this at my house....too many kids there that are boys.


I get to spend time with Grandma which is fun. Peace out dudes.


                                                                                       From,


                                                                                             Bobby Joe....... (he doesn't love, he froms)




A side note... "Don't you want to say, love?"    Thus, "no, he doesn't love, he froms)???????

I'm on drugs!

I always used to pride myself on the fact that I took very little in the way of medication.  The occasional headache remedy, acid reducer when necessary and the blood pressure medication they started giving me when the kids were teenagers (no correlation, I'm sure :-/ ) 


I recently consolidated all my drugs into a drawer in my desk.  It was a rude awakening to say the least.  I now fully understand the necessity of routine in my golden years (that's a crock-o-shit.)  In the morning, after I go to breakfast club, I take my new cholesterol med (which I ultimately realized is laced with a diuretic,) an over the counter joint and cartilage pill which "promotes better joint health and more comfortable movement," and one liquid-gel Motrin.  I also take 2 gummie, women's One-a-day vitamins... Confusing in itself as it says to take two, one a day, daily...A geriatric oxymoron for sure.
That does it until bedtime when I take my low dosage blood pressure pill which I now continue to need as I have grandchildren and live with another aging sexagenarian.... which by the way has absolutely NOTHING to do with sex and everything to do with "agen!"  Along with the BP drug I take one or sometimes two Aleve PM.... my miracle drug.  It generally provides me with 6-8 hours of peaceful sleep.  Without it, I'm awakened hourly by a wheezing, coughing, farting, moaning and often conversing old man.


Throw in an occasional Pepcid AC or swig of Pepto-bismol and I'm generally good to go.


Ashamedly, (kind of) healthy eating habits do not exist here.  Our diets generally consist of meat, potatoes, cheeses, pasta, shellfish and an occasional vegetable and leafy something.  I prefer eating things that had a mother!  Lee was never a sweets kind of guy and now he can empty a cookie jar in 2 days flat.  The candy box needs regular refilling and I always have a stash of smarties next to my remote. I'm pretty sure that chocolate is a nut and sugar was originally a grown in a field...somewhere which makes that a plant.. I hear plants and nuts are good for you.


Hopefully my drug drawer will remain as it is now. Two prescriptions is doable and keeps Obama and Blue Cross Blue Shield happy.  My out of pocket is slowly necessitating larger pockets but so far I haven't reached that dreaded donut hole.... I prefer to only eat donuts!  My drug of choice!

What a difference..............

What a difference a day makes.........or a decade....or four!  This meme (now there's even a new word) appeared this morning on my Face Book feed.

Pretty sure my reply would be a lot different.

                HOW TO PLEASE A WOMAN:

Love her                                               that can stay!

Die for her                                            scratch that one...too close to reality

Take her to dinner                                That one absolutely stays!!!!!

Miss the game for her                           Leave her alone during the game!!

Buy her jewelry                                    Not..too expensive and already has what she likes to wear

Be interested in what she has to say    Way past the "even hearing" what she has to say..

I would add:

Acknowledge birthdays and anniversaries

Enjoy the grandchildren

Try and retain any and all bodily gaseous escapes from any orifice

Help around the house without requesting an audience and applause

                HOW TO PLEASE A MAN:

Show up naked                                      With plenty of advance warning as things take time these days

Bring Beer                                              Preferably scotch!

Wash, Fold and return clothing to

      it's prior spot                                    So he can wear the same 7 outfits and never touch the new

                                                               clothes received as gifts for the past 5 years.

It's simple really!

Grandma Rules.......

I treasure absolutely every second I have with Bailee.  If I could keep her at any particular age, it would be right now....8-9.  It helps that she is bright, has a wonderful sense of humor, gets my jokes and even trumps them with her own and has returned to the snuggly phase.  She is not a real junk food junkie. Her drink of choice is almost always milk and she'd rather snack on cottage cheese than cookies.  She does love treats from Papa's candy box and sneaks them occasionally.. although she knows that I know, as the candy box talks when it's opened.  We both pretend the other doesn't hear it;-)
Unsolicited hugs, pats on the arm, a head on my shoulder and "I Love You(s)" literally bring tears to my eyes and take my breath away.  Sounds pretty Hallmarkish I know but non-fiction through and through.  In the back of her mind, there's a little trepidation about sharing me with her new cousin but I think deep down she knows that she will always be my first, true love and we'll always have that special something.  I'm hoping that there will never be a time when she'd rather go on a date than come to Grandma's, spend time with her friends than with me or make fun of the wrinkly, old lady in the chair but I know that time is right around the corner.. But for now, I hope she continues to stay on course, smile when she hears my name and remembers that she'll never be too old to lay her head on my shoulder......or mine on hers♥