Fear

"We have nothing to fear but fear itself"........probably true. It does seem as though every stage of life holds its own group of fears.  When we're little we fear spankings from our parents and being without them...we're even tiny little hypocrites way back then. As teens we fear failing tests, not being accepted and getting caught! Our early adult years seemed to actually be the less fearful  time...at least for me. We took some chances, settled down and hoped for the best.  Now we move on to the "Golden Years!".......fraught with fear once again.  They say there are 5 things women fear most about aging......(only 5?) A 12 country survey by a British health care company has deduced that women worry more about aging than men do...shocker! Chinese women worry about "who will take of me" (well if they were allowed normal family sizes and female children........duh!) and French women believe that "old" doesn't even begin till after 80!!! But among the top 12 countries, these were deemed to be the top 5 fearful issues....everywhere!

1. Losing attractiveness/becoming "invisible":   ...........Whatever....wrinkles, dry skin, sagging boobs, gray hair and weight gain.......deal about it...What you see is what you get.. If you don't like it, take off your glasses, take out your hearing aids and stand naked in front of a mirror.. You're no prize anymore either!!!
2. Being Left alone:   The survey says..."men are fight-and-fighters"..they need to be doing something...if not, they're stressed. Women, on the other hand are "tenders and befrienders." They need many people in their lives and losing or leaving them (retiring away) is what's stressful for them.  This fact made me chuckle."The fear of being alone is more harsh for women.  Men seem to more easily find a younger model. You're more likely to see a 70 year old man with a 30 year old woman than to see the reverse." I'm shocked they even contacted my father in-law to take this survey:-)  I do, however, disagree that women have a harder time being left "alone" than the reverse.  If a man can't even find the extra toilet paper, how is it expected that he will find insurance policies, tax receipts, extra checks or even the Christmas decorations...He's gonna be in way deeper crap without her...
3. Becoming a bag lady?:   Recessions, real estate collapses and even that damn Bernie Madoff (is that really his true name or a "handle" as he "made off" with everyone's money?) may make women fearful about being destitute. I, for one, have declared I will not be a financial illiterate. The ignorance is bliss policy that our past female generations have followed stops with this girl.
4. Cancer:   ...Got me on this one. This son-of-a bitch knows no boundaries, misses any group or appears to lessen.  I'm not even sure knowing that heart disease in women kills more...makes me less fearful.
5. Being dependent on others:  I relate a little more to this one than I'd like. I have always been the caregiver, the worrier, the fixer!  That role reversal frightens me!  Being deeply entrenched into my Mom's care has been an eye opener.  Basically, she is blissfully unaware of her existence as we know it today.  She is physically healthy and mentally a child. Her capacity to remember and normally function is gone. I look back at # 3....Use it or lose it!  Previous generations believed that the men's responsibility was to care for and support their women...Nice philosophy back then...not so much today. I'm hopeful that I will have time, I'm fearful that I will lose the capacity to "decide' and I'm thankful that I will have Jess and Bailee.

Alleviating all 5 major fears is probably unrealistic but lessening them is doable.  Get some exercise and try to maintain "you" so you actually feel good.  Now they're saying that being a little overweight may actually extend your life... (Holy shit, I'm living forever!) Because nobody should depend on someone else to make them happy puts the oneness straight on you for number two, scratch that one. Number 3 and 5 go right back to my old adage of "poor planning on your part, doesn't constitute and emergency on mine!"  I'm a planner..I admit it! It's a 3 step program for addicts.  It extinguishes stress, allows for financial flow and is relatively simple. Make a list, write it down, get it done! 

Now....on to spiders and heights.!!!!