I can't believe I haven't blogged in a few months.  It's extremely cathartic and keeps my spelling and grammar skills polished...actually Face Book does that as I almost always find some way to correct those who have no idea they're actually murdering the King's English. Some don't catch it, some don't know it and some don't care!  It always makes me chuckle to see an educator use your instead of you're and it is done a lot (which by the way is two words!)

Anyway, I digress!  The last few months have been busy both physically and mentally.  Every day seems to be mentally busy...birthdays, holidays, every day!  Being the grandmother of a teenager is not an easy task. It's tough at 40 and even tougher at 70.  I have had to acquiesce to the fact that much is done differently in the 20s than it s was a few decades ago.  I struggle with this!  How is it even remotely right that girls can go to school with only part of their upper torso covered and holes in their jeans that cost twice as much as they should with only half as much material. Mind boggling.  

The world of the 2020s is filled with shortcuts.  Words seem to be obsolete and replaced by letters only. TBH, I totally struggle reading some texts. IDK if it's a matter of being lazy or just a new language. Sometimes I want to reply to a questioning text by just typing IDFK....I would think it was funny and she would find it totally acceptable and maybe not even see the irony. There are times when she actually wants to chat with me, in person, one on one...especially if she has T,,,which I finally figured out has nothing to do with hot water, a cup and a tea bag and everything to do with gossip. One of my biggest pet peeves is who exactly I am in her eyes.  I'm "girl", "bestsie" and sometimes "bruh" but that's more Jett's vernacular. I am still waiting for Grandma. Gram even Granny!

I'm probably the only grandma that has to include in her nightly prayers (which btw, take about 10 minutes now) to please give her granddaughter more ambition and less attitude. I wonder how God handled teenagers..  ironically rhetorical as that is what Bailee is studying now in Advanced English, rhetoric not God!

As spring approaches, newer changes are taking place.  Prom dresses I would choose are not what she has in mind. "A slutty good girl" is her perception of attire for the prom. I don't like strapless, she doesn't like "straps!" Not having boobs handles that one. We collectively decided that it's her prom, her money and her choice.  Details to follow.   Also this spring is a huge European trip to Spain and Portugal.  Children from Very Small Town, USA should be taught a course in You're not in Kansas anymore Dorothy. I can only cross my fingers that the 3 very competent chaperones will keep a close eye on the group that's literally leaving the nest, the tree and the humans who have literally fed them for the past 16 years. Once again, my prayers get longer!

We're now at mid-term of the Junior year and regents are upon us and the reality of only one more year of HS until they must make often life changing decisions.  Hopefully, it will soon hit them that grades matter (financially if not educationally,) they may not soon be actually residing with their lifetime fixer and Great Grandpa may have ultimately been right when he said, "You're judged by the company you keep!"

I will be waiting for the first text from college that ends with YWFR!!! (You Were Fucking Right)

Go With the Flow

 I always thought I was a "go with the flow" kinda gal. When I was a child, I'd go where I was supposed to, say the things I was supposed to, color in the lines, respect my elders and get the best possible grades!  When I was a teenager, I'd keep up my grades, continue to respect my elders (which included teachers,) keep my curfews, enjoy my friends (old and new) and tow the line while trying not to go with the (wrong) flow! As a young adult , I enjoyed the random cigarette after a few Rolling Rocks and paced myself so I didn't follow the flow in the wrong direction or jump into the entirely unacceptable new body of water.  Next I became a wife and Mom. I really should have put more thought into that one.  I purposely became Mom to 2 kids.  During their childhoods, they were pretty great.  One boy first, then a girl and the dog and the hamster and the little league and the dance classes and all the things that this flow was supposed to contain. We had it all but the picket fence.  As they became teens, I tried to stay in the same stream. Motocross racing consumed much of our lives but he was soooo good and I was sooo proud. 

Fast forward to failed marriages, poor partner choices on each of their parts and the flow of disappointment began!  But still...I tried to go with the flow, however murky and crooked it became. After all, wasn't that my job? 3 weddings, three divorces... this appeared to be more like going down shit creek without a paddle than going with the flow.  To top it off, I was continuing to get older.....a lot older.

Then my Dad  died :-( The saddest event of my life to that point. Thankfully, it was just as he had hoped...fast and relatively painless...a matter of hours!  The next few years were filled with emotional (both happy and sad) ups and downs. The river was "rapidly" changing.  We built a new house, Mom died a slow, forgetful death, My daughter made horrendous choices, my son began battling a debilitating illness and I ended up navigating these waters alone.  Only one oar makes the trip a lot tougher.  

Now, my son is healthy, my granddaughter lives with us and we're in the thralls of another construction project. Going with the flow with a teenager requires patience, large deep breaths, random moments of solitude and a life jacket. The life jacket has been particularly necessary the last few weeks and has been keeping me afloat.  Just when I think the waters have calmed, a new wave approaches and I tread water awhile while I'm mentally accepting the new direction.  

I'm pretty sure that old age wasn't exactly scripted this way but my options are few and I'm still hoping the journey will be a positive one for most of us.  My bucket list never included wild water rafting but I'm seeing where the bucket might just bail me out. 

Please God, Let me "Go with the Flow!🙏

A Decade of Difference

 It's been just a bit too long between posts but here I am. My Happy New Year. Always thought the year began in September when the kids were back in school and we returned to some semblance of order and routine. I'm always shamed when I say my favorite day of the week is Monday. Seriously, that's the day of order in my court!

 Today was Bailee's first day of 11th grade... Yikes. Not entirely how I thought my senior years would be but we're figuring it out....by we, I mean me!  Eye rolling, door slamming, sarcasm and the like are all part of the teen years...so they say. I really don't remember me doing those things but that was nearly 55 years ago and I can't remember if I brushed my teeth this morning!

 I probably am a little overbearing and look at life a little bit differently than a 16 year old but my perspective is juuuuust a little bit of a contrast than hers!  I try to see the bigger picture; the college years, the finances and the future while Bailee sees...TODAY and possibly a hint of tomorrow! It most likely has to do with the fact that a 70 year old's future holds a bit precarious. 

 On the other hand, we have a 6 year old who is just entering first grade tomorrow as a seasoned student. This will be his 5th year in a school room setting.  He's pretty much over 1-2-3 and A-B-C! It takes time to write neatly and color in the lines so a priority for these tasks isn't in the cards...yet!  He was (actually, I was) filling out a a paper that his new teacher sent him to tell her a little about himself.  He likes math, his favorite subject however; is gym. His hope for 1st grade is that his teacher will like him....Seriously, who in their right mind wouldn't? (says his Grandma who believes he is the most handsome kid in 1st grade and a genius!) 

 Regardless of the decade of difference between my two grands, they both have the ability and potential to be a success. I may not get to see the finished product but I know the ingredients are there!  

The title is....."Entitled"!

 My favorite day of the week is Monday (as many of you know!)  A normal schedule resumes and life goes on....as hoped!

  Bailee and her grandfather returned from the National Trap Shooting Tourney in Michigan.  The kids did well but none of our four qualified.  There are some pretty awesome shooters throughout the country.  Lots of fun and lessons learned which leads me to believe that they, meaning Bailee, are capable of learning! 

  Today's teenagers are an odd group.  Normal families is/are an oxymoron.... This is a fact and not an assumption. Ours consists of an enabled 72 year old, a healing 43 year old, a pretentious 6 year old, an entitled 15 year old and an aging 70 year old trying to make a cohesive, functioning family from the preceding components.  It ain't easy!

  Circumstances surrounding each member are a story in itself.  Let's just take the teenager.......please. I ask for 4 small things from this person. From one who knows everything (being the child) and the other who knows nothing (being me,) these four asks should be relatively simple. They are not...obviously!

1. Make your bed  
2. Close your drawers
3. Keep your clothes off the floor
4. Verbalize your life without the F word...constantly and loudly

I understand that life is generational and I'm not in the latest one. In fact, I am so far removed, that these four tasks would never have to even be mentioned in my 1960s household. Not so much in 2022!  If I hear the words "what difference does it make" a few more times, I might likely have the big one!  Sadly, as I have penned before, I have lost the privilege of being a fun Grandma and I obviously haven't earned the status of  ruler of the governing body of this household.  Two things I cannot tolerate...lying and disrespect.  This statement yesterday ( from said teenager) says it all..."I don't show respect for you and you don't show respect for me!"  I'm still sorting this one out.  Respect must be earned...I get that. Even with age, I guess nobody is entitled to respect unless you've earned it. I must be failing on my end somewhere.  Now, on the subject of respecting teenagers....they must manage their emotions, set and achieve goals and earn that respect.... it's NOT a given!! Even if you've been dealt a bad hand, that doesn't entitle you a pass for being disrespectful. Walking on eggshells, not hurting feelings and letting rudeness pass has run its course here. Actions have consequences and I need to step up and deliver them... There should be no bail reform at EIEIO.... free to continue to commit your offense teaches nothing and only proves that this family court isn't doing their job!

Now that I have committed these thoughts to paper, it will be an entirely harder task to bring them to fruition. It's easier for me to make the bed, pick up the clothes, shut the drawers and disregard the F bombs but then I'm just as miserable albeit with a clean room! ... Let's see if I can walk the walk or if I'll continue to just talk the talk.... Pray for me ;-)🙏

Out of the Mouths

 A child's brain is an amazing organ.  One that, they say, consumes so much information from birth to age 4 that an adult's brain would burn out.  I love that you can actually see the wheels turning as they take in, process and retain what they see, hear and now (at age 6) read!  

  The other day Jett was telling us that when we die; Bailee, Papa Today, me and even his parents, he will visit our "riprocks" and bring us each a flower.  Riprock, you say? we did too...and then after listening intently, we realized he was remembering seeing a headstone at mini golf when they played last week.  To him, it was just a large rock and written in bold print was R I P...hence, the riprock.. One of my very favorite kidisms to date!

Earlier in the day, he had noticed a lingering hair on my upper lip that had been overlooked by my favorite, never to be misplaced or uncharged, aging women's tool...the mustache and chin plucker. He touched it carefully, contemplated his next remark very carefully for an unfiltered child of six and claimed I very closely resembled a catfish!!!  WTH.... 

The honesty and ability to be forthwith with his thoughts is something that brings me great joy. He is now old enough to know that occasionally, he should keep his thoughts to himself but seldom has the ability to do so.........much like his Grandma!♥

The Waiting Game!

 Never has patience been my strong suit.  I have learned, with age, to understand, to some degree, that I can't change much.  (did I need all those commas?)  After nearly seven decades, I know to take long deep breaths, trust that all will be well, pray and know that I can handle whatever the outcome of my waiting brings.  I tried typing those words and now I will try to live them!

Jeff is in Rochester for another procedure. You'd think I would handle them better each time but......Lee drove him there and I stayed back to get the kids off to school and comfortably go about my morning routine.  For old people, that's dressing without tipping over, coffee, breakfast, bathroom and these days "wordle!" Being competitive on the toilet is sometimes a challenge.  If I ever get it in two tries, I'll be happy I'm on the thrown as I will definitely #%@* ! Now everyone who reads my Wordle daily achievement will know where it was accomplished! Oh well!

Back to the virtue of patience. This morning I am hearing every tick of the clock so a little 60's Beach Boys is in order. Being home alone is usually a peaceful perk that seldom happens these days.  Today it's much too quiet.  With my phone close by, I will hum a few tunes, chat with Alexa and pass the hours till a phone call comes. It's hard to do all that with your fingers crossed but I'm getting better. Arthritis helps as most of my fingers are already bent in criss- cross fashion. 

Wish me luck, Wish Jeff luck and keep those amazing Doctors in your prayers.... They control so much...including my waiting game!

Soapy...or Sappy!

 I once thought how cool it would be to be "in" a soap opera!  Lately I've realized...I am!!! I used to think how awesome it would be to fall off a cliff and die and return a few years later, or have the ability and stamina to marry your father's brother's sister's niece's dad and have it be completely normal. Or possibly have your adopted child forfeit her ability to parent, move away, move back, get arrested and then decide to give it another try...with a completely new child.  "How twistedly normal would all that be," she said rhetorically!

Thankfully, in a soap opera these are just written words portrayed by second class actors (IMHO!)  In real life, they're the events that are the onset of gray hair, stress related illnesses, wrinkles and premature aging. Who doesn't want all that in their daily life!

In a soap, you can just turn off the boob tube and carry on with your everyday activities. Probably a second thought isn't given to anything you watched unless a friend asks what you thought about that day's episode and you hash over the what ifs!  With age comes wisdom, premature or otherwise and is one welcomed advantage. After the past 12 months, I am no longer blindsided by any event. The "you're supposed to(s)" are in the rearview mirror and no longer affect my thinking!  Fingers crossed that all (well, most) drama outside of the soaps affects me as much as the drama inside.  

The rules are actually quite simple:

• Love the ones who love you back
• Mind your own business
• Give second chances (only)
• Offer advice when asked and take it when needed
• Breathe, relax and carry on