Technologically Impaired

Along with my various maladies. (plantar facetious, cataracts, IBS, CRS and others) today I realized I am seriously impaired in the technology department.  I generally thought I was able to operate the TV, my phone, the VCR ( I guess it's actually a DVD), TiVo, and my computer with a modicum  of entry level skill.  I can still follow directions as long as the words are familiar. Unfortunately, new words are being added every day which seems to slow my cognitive reasoning abilities (which, to my dismay, are slowing their pace as well.)  I now have to deal with megabytes and gigabytes, modems and routers and connectivity and productivity. I'm amazed at the fact that if you unplug a device and give it 10 seconds then reconnect, it regains its memory and carries on effortlessly.  I should be so lucky!!
 This morning, I am the substitute day care giver for Jess's little man, Hunter.  I had asked Jess to not password lock her computer so I could get on and check my email, see what my FB friends were up to and write my blog. Accomplishing the blog..... but ran into some roadblocks on the other fronts.  I don't want to see her email or know what her friends are up to and it's rude (and besides I'm not sure I know how the hell to do it) to just go in and sign her out!!!!  So for now, I can pen today's nonsense and reread the last few months of my ramblings......
I'm sure you're thinking, "well you could turn on the TV and watch something enjoyable!"  OK, I could... except it says no signal and I can't seem to be able to change the input to TV.  It seems the movie "Tin Tin" is on the Blue-Ray player and my incompetent self can't do anything about it.  So, a 4 year old and 60 year old are destined to enjoy each others company, play go fish and wait for 11:30 to roll around to walk across the street to school.  maybe I should stay there for a lesson or two as well :-(

Sounds....good to me

Sounds.....are amazing. They can evoke happiness and sadness. They can instantly transport you back to a certain time and/or place.  They can make you smile, cry, laugh and some can even make you hungry.... true story!  I've given this a lot of thought (well the hour that I was lying awake from 4:09 to 5:09 this a.m.)  Here are my top ten favorites and my top 10 not so much sounds lists.  (Where's David Letterman when I need him?....who cares, I really don't like him )

FAVS:

• 10- our backyard waterfall(s)  We have lived here for 4 years and I still sleep with my window cracked to hear the calming roar of the falls....
• 9-   our backyard birds  I've become fairly skilled at bird sound recognition...
• 8-   train whistles  I immediately return to Overbrook or even farther back to a little spot where my Uncle Jack and Aunt Nancy lived in in Florida...way back in the 50's... right next to the train tracks:-)
• 7-   laughter   listening to people laughing.........makes me laugh...so simple
• 6-   The Beach Boys  anything they sing still makes me smile, dance and sing along...it's not pretty but it's wonderful
• 5-   Steve Harvey and Dufus, our roosters.  Steve is highly skilled and Dufus attempts a pathetic imitation.  They're worth the cost, the hassle and the chicken shit:-)
• 4-   Thunder   As long as I'm safe and dry, I love thunderstorms:-)
• 3-   Silence   Simon and Garfunkel knew what they sang!
• 2 -  Jeff's motorcycle ring tone....it means he was thinking about me and calling to "check in"
• and my number 1 favorite sound is.......me        "Love you"
•                                                                Bailee  "love you too"
•                                                                me       "Love you more"
•                                                                Bailee  "love you the most!"

NOT SO MUCH:

• 10- gunshots   Not a big fan of guns and hunting but I live in a Duck Dynasty, so "I deal about it"
• 9-   dentist drills   obvious reasons
• 8-   sirens   someone is hurt, ill, in trouble or on fire:-(
• 7-   coughs  germs are spreading and someone feels shitty
• 6-   cracking knuckles  drives me insane.....almost there!
• 5-   heart monitors   on TV or for real.....:-(
• 4-   buzzing   I hate all kinds of flying, buzzing insects
• 3-   crying     just plain makes me sad
• 2-   the phone ringing in the middle of the night
• And my number 1 most disliked sound is....yelling......NOTHING is ever accomplished by it!

And then I went back to sleep!!

Lunch

             Annual Christmas lunch with the chicks at Brix :-)

I'm done!

No really, I'm done... I can hear my Mother saying, "You're not done, you're finished, only cookies and steak are done!" ......and yes, the cookies are done too!  I've made lists, shopped, wrapped, crafted, decorated, cleaned, made more lists, organized, addressed, mailed, laundered, more lists, bagged, planned and now I'm ready to enjoy, celebrate, eat, drink and spend the last two weeks before Santa arrives just plain being merry.....if it kills me!  This week I have a lunch and a dinner I'm looking forward to. Spending time with friends who are right around the corner but are busy doing all the things I just mentioned.  Strange how friends can be so close and yet so far away.  One day we'll regret the fact that we didn't take the time ...............to take the time!  Next week is another lunch and dinner with even more friends and then Jeff arrives and the holiday is in full swing.  Looking forward to next Saturday when all the Hatfield/Kehoe/Reinhart/ crew will gather here for our family Christmas.  We've decided to capture the event in all it's glory in photos. If you think it's tough to get a family of four happy, smiling and clean...wait till we try 33. We'll have 9 little ones under the age of 13, a table of 6 who won't make the grown ups ( and I use the term loosely) table this year but are "oh so close!" and the adult's table of 18.  If only we had our California crew....we'd be complete.

Two weeks from tonight Santa will arrive. It's already been established: that he remembers that Grandma and Papa do not have a chimney so a door will be left unlocked, that Bailee IS confirmed to be on the "Nice List," that he does enjoy a snack and it doesn't have to be cookies, that her gifts do not need to be wrapped as that's just a waste of "perfectly good trees" and that chances are that Uncle Jeff will still be awake so please don't wait till he's sleeping to stop at EIEIO!!

Let the merriment commence!

The Griswolds

I just returned from an impromptu shopping excursion to Auburn.. Yes, I realize I was finished shopping on all 6 of my last trips... Anyway, it reaffirmed my agreement with all the Face Book posts and pictures about this still being the Christmas season and not the PC "Holiday" season....unless of course you are one of the decorators who adorns their houses with lovely ( beauty is in the eyes of the "beer-holder) Christmas decorations perched right next to their Halloween pumpkins, dead, fall mums and even scarecrows and skeletons. This drives me a bit crazy and it doesn't take me long to get there!  An additional Christmas pet peeve is the new holiday inflatables.... I like them.. I have them. Being the caretaker of Frosty the Snowman and Comet the Reindeer, I know they are not inexpensive lawn decorations....If you have the means to purchase these lawn friendly bearers of good cheer, than you undoubtedly have the means to let their little motors run during the day as well......it literally costs pennies.  Nothing looks worse than seeing lawns full of dead, deflated decor laying all over the neighborhood ....especially next to the pumpkins! I'm quite sure that even Clark Griswold would have kept his illuminated lawn ornaments upright throughout the Christmas season.

OK, I feel better! Just airing my opinion releases endorphins that make me happy... even if nobody reads it.. I said..out loud...sort of!

P.S.  I did see some lovely, less is more, Christmas decorations on my travels too...not everybody's a Griswold:-)

Update Thursday

I've been OOT (out of touch) the last couple of days.  Things are slowing down a bit and semi back to normal:

• We successfully got the tree up and Grandpa's plaid pants star is sitting stately at the top.  We dressed it with some white poinsettias this year and it looks great both day and night.  It will be the backdrop for our big Hatfield Family Christmas photo(s) we're taking on the 22nd.
• Tuesday it was 70 degrees.. How flippin' crazy is that.  Jess and I visited with Mom at the Nursing Home and did a little shopping for her through the Shopper's Service they provide.  What a wonderful idea. A truck arrives with racks of clothes, jammies, undies and socks....and they label and tailor for free...
• Christmas cards were completed and mailed. I received the neatest response from my brother Steve's gf's husband....(Nothing weird there... she married the greatest guy after Steve passed away. He reminds me so much of him.....his sense of humor mirrors Steve's and I love the fact that he appreciates how much keeping in touch means to me.  BTW, Kathy didn't respond as she was in the hospital having a few arteries roto-routed for the holiday:-)... The sad part of Paul's response was the fact that there is no one left to tell..... that's why I'm sharing with you♥
• My eye is still besieged by this nasty floater.....I believe it's floated enough and should relax and settle down for a lifetime of luxury living in my little optical suite.  Looking at things though my eyes could be a enlightening experience.  Thankfully it can't float in my auditory canal.
• My Christmas gift to me arrived yesterday... a brand new iPhone 5.  Not sure what I was thinking as I had yet to master the iPhone 4!  I guess I just wanted someone to talk to who would almost always have the right answers!  Siri, I love you!  Thankfully Jess was able to sync my new phone...otherwise I would have been sunk!
• Yesterday I crossed off another item on my Bucket List. I had my first massage....Yep, I'm the one you heard moaning in ecstasy!  It was one, wonderful hour of nakedness where I didn't have to move a muscle. (sorry, was that TMI?) I even had my ears rubbed. Who in the world would think that would be so wonderful....(short of a dog or an elephant? :-)

So, it's only Thursday and it's been an eventful week. The upcoming weeks are full of lunches and dinners with old friends, wrapping and bagging Christmas gifts..(Oh I ♥ gift bags), singing and making cookies with Miss B, the arrival of Jeffrey home for the holidays and the anticipation of our Hatfield Family Christmas here at EIEIO. Chat soon!

Happy Anniversary T.M.

Text messaging celebrates anniversary

I remember our first cell phone came in a bag that probably wouldn't fit in an overhead compartment.  I bought it "for Lee"..(.yeah right) on the premise that if I give it as a gift he wouldn't get mad (like I really gave it that much thought). It was very cool....Our first outing with it was to Silver Springs to race motocross. We never stopped to think that anybody we wanted to call was already with us... Anyway, it was a moot point as cell towers were few and far between and motocross tracks were always out in the boonies. The first "I told you so!" from Lee!
As the years went by we upgraded and added minutes to our plans, we learned to share and not make senseless calls using up valuable minutes. Soon the kids were old enough to have them and then came texting....20 years ago to be exact.  We didn't need to text and it took us several years before we realized it had it's perks.  Lee was "never gonna text! If I want to say something to somebody, I can sure as hell call them and talk to them"......forgetting that hearing them might be nice!!.  So now fast forward to 2011....Santa brings Leroy an iPhone...Leroy who barely yet knew how to do anything short of "hello" on his old phone.  FF again to 12-2-12....I decided I would buy myself a Christmas present.  Seldom due I splurge on me and I had an "itchin" to do just that... Wild woman on the loose.....with an iPhone 5:-)  So Jess, my in house tech guru. calls and asks all the questions that I had barraged her with.  Come to find out, I use about 1/2 GB and Lee uses over 1............Yep, the very same fellow who was "never gonna text" shares more data than I... Do you know how many dead deer and big boobs  one entire GB is???????? LOTS.  So, when I switch over my 4 to 5 we will be sharing 4gs of memory which ought to do us until the next fancy device hits the market.  I won't have to worry about a 5 for Lee as Siri would soon tire of hearing "what" all those times during their conversations and enlighten all Verizon representatives that she was not compatible with the hearing impaired. (welcome to my world, Siri).   But nonetheless, I'm celebrating the 20th Anniversary of text messaging by treating myself to a device that will answer my questions, allow me to search the world, keep me in touch with my family and almost anything else I wish for.....I especially enjoy it on "vibrate".  Mmmmmmmerrrrrryyyyy Chhhhriisttmmassss tooo meeee!!