Monday, January 4, 2016

Two Thousand sixteen.... A Face Odyssey

2016......definitely a Face (book) Odyssey.  Social Media.... I've decided that if we must take a test for nearly everything in life, (driving, teaching, adding, reading, shooting, seeing, breathing, pooping, STDs and UTIs) we should probably have to take a test to be a member of the "social media!"  An average IQ is about 100. (In NYS, it's about 100.7:-)   This means you're "right in the middle"...you should probably know how to spell, know that if you done something, you've slipped a little below the middle.  If you're there on time, you're following the center line....literally and  if you lie on your bed and lay your phone down, you're a genius. That's one pet peeve in a nutshell.

So back to this test I think should be given before entering the world of Face Book.  You should have at least a modicum of common sense.....right there we've lost a ton of users.  The grammar section of the test would weed out another big group.  The idiot portion of the exam pretty much gets us down to single number percentages. For those of us that might be left, (and I could easily be in one of the above groups on any given day...unlikely, but possible) it would be a continued joy to read their posts, see their photographs and hear about the exciting, successful and proud moments of their day, week, month or year. An occasional off-color joke makes me laugh just as much as the next guy/gal. A profanity filled meme helps me realize that many people get as much pleasure as I from four letter words....and let's face it, it's hugely cathartic..... ( that means therapeutic for those on the low side of 100.)

Should Face Book, or any other social media outlet, be the place to air your dirty laundry, describe your sexual adventures .....(or shortcomings, whatever the case may be,) or degrade, lambaste and embarrass anyone? NFW...whoops, told you I need that every once in awhile.

Now, I'm not sure who should be the ones to write this test. Surely not the folks who took on the exams for Common Core and likely not the ones who were positive that Mark Zuckerberg was going to shell out 45 million to us all.  I'd turn away all those that thought typing "Amen" was going to save for us from a trip down under or grow limbs for those in need and give a big resounding no freakin' way to anyone who thinks Obama has been the greatest president....ever!  I'm pretty sure the authors of the first ever Social Profile Intelligence Test (SPIT) should have the following qualifications:
Love bacon
Have a minimum of a 12th grade education
Wear underwear
Enjoy politics
Have a passion for sports
Live in very thick skin
Own a Gun
And......come from an oceanic size gene pool........  

Accepting Applicants !

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