Stew

Cooking is not my most favorite thing to do.  However, it is far from my least favorite thing to do.  This week-end, I assembled all the ingredients for a great big STEW!  No meat, no veggies, not even a pot to cook it in.  This was a very different kind of stew..the kind that makes you bitter, lackluster and even sad.  For this stew I only needed a few ingredients, a dash of disappointment, a dozen shakes of disbelief, a hunk of hypocrisy and a great big cup of pissed off! All were readily available! 

Back to Friday morning:  I was enjoying my coffee, conversation, newspaper and breakfast with the breakfast club when I received a text from Jess. "Just caught Dad smoking:("  I replied with my usual couth, "You're shitting me?" Followed by "Nope, walked into the shop and he threw it under the tractor"  and she had just thrown him under the bus!  Then why was I the one who felt the tire tracks?  On March 18th of this year we would have celebrated 2 years of no smoking....or would we?  I guess I could throw a bit of betrayed into my stew recipe.  I have bragged to anyone who would listen, and even some who wished they hadn't, about my husband's ability to quit smoking in just 11 short days after smoking since he was 14.  Shame on me for being a believer.

Friday afternoon:  While my stomach was aching and my mind was spinning, I remembered that he (Lee) had his 6 month check up with his heart Dr. that afternoon.  I'm not a proponent of tattling..unless of course, it's a matter of life or breath...Messaged delivered.  

The week-end:  Was very quiet at EIEIO.  Bailee was at her Dad's, Jess was visiting A. Kim and I maneuvered my way out when he was in and in when he was out.  Usually I can pack a pretty fair verbal punch when the need arises but this helping of stew silenced me.....this time. I immediately decided that I was no longer going to be the in-house pharmacist. At 62, he could be responsible for taking his own medications at the prescribed times...... that is, if he chose to be 63!!! 

Late Sunday afternoon: I was still in the middle of my stew and a good dose of cupboard cleaning was actually helping when he arrived home from his weekly, Sunday shooting.  "I'm sorry!"  What was that I heard?  An apology?  "I'm sorry and it won't happen again!"  I didn't just fall off the turnip truck but I almost just fell off my ladder.In nearly 46 years, I don't believe I ever heard those two words in such a tone or maybe ever! 

Time will tell and all is slightly forgiven but not forgotten.  Many things in a marriage are unconditional.  Trust is not one of them in my playbook.  That's earned and not even the new 40' TV for my den will make it magically appear unscathed.  There have been bumps along this decades old path and we've rolled over each of them.  We're inching our way over this one too and I'm really hoping it's paved with good intentions and becomes the road less traveled.