If being a teenager, during a pandemic, living with their grandparents and uncle isn't enough... try adding an estranged father with early onset Alzheimer's.
Bailee is bright, savvy and an adult way before she should have to be. Abandoned by her mother at 12 and living a less than stellar, normal life for 4 years prior, she now has the ambiguous task of reconnecting with her Dad. Her grandmother, whom she never knew, died of early onset Alzheimer's at 45. Her Dad is now 48 and in the midst of the disease as well. Their relationship has been rocky to say the least. Bailee became acquainted with the legal system at an early age. Through police, law guardians, social services and courts, Bailee learned that children have a right to be safe and heard. After formal court proceedings and being heard by the judge, Bailee was allowed at 11...to decide when or IF she chose to see her Dad. Being the intelligent girl that she was, she chose one more supervised visit with her him. She then decided that was enough. He had not shown up for a few visits and the others were just accomplishing nothing.
A year later, she decided she needed closure and arranged a meeting with him. It went well and she felt good about parting company. After all, they really had no relationship for most of the life she remembered.
Fast forward to 2021, yesterday in fact! Bailee had heard that her Dad was not well and it might be a nice idea to visit with him before he lost all cognizance of past years. She contacted her half sister and learned that her aunt and uncle were planning a little family gathering for Marc's birthday. Yesterday, she met Denelle, her sister, and spent 3 hours reacquainting with her Dad and sister. She was a little leery about spending time in surroundings that had always made her fearful and uncomfortable. Having her sister there made the situation less tenuous and she actually relaxed and enjoyed their time together.
She believes her Dad knew her. Conversation was limited as he generally only answers yes or no questions. It appears his mental status is that of a pre-teen and regressing. I watched them playing frisbee in the yard and saw the frivolity of a child....hands clapping, jumping up and down and twerking. He was unable to fasten his belt and needed help from Denelle. This man had never been on my favorite list but I was truly sad watching his childlike play.
Believing his next move will be to a nursing home, it put life in a bit of perspective.... Possibly a different one for me than for Bailee. She was happy that she had the chance to spend time with him, less guilt-ridden than she might have been had he completely forgotten her and a sense of forgiving for his past misdeeds. Forgiving does not mean forgetting!
If you think a child does not remember their young childhood, think again. Sadly, this is a generation of misguided, misunderstood and often misused children. Thanks to Bailee's fortitude, resilience and intelligence, she will be fine....She's heading down a good road that is paved with support and love and each driving lesson is making her a better driver! There will be roadblocks but she will navigate around or through them......I have no doubt...success is her destination!!♥
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