Monday, March 6, 2023

Nom De Plume

 I have never yearned to be anonymous....till now.  Today, and possibly in the future, I.M. Tired is the author of this blog.

Fatigue, disappointment, futility, exploited......just a few words to describe my latest emotional state. I don't believe that everyone is purposefully in the exploited category but possibly I've lumped them there for lack of a better adjective.

In this family, I handle the "lys!" Logistically, financially, emotionally, physically and even proactively! 

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Unforeseen circumstances creep up in most every family unit.  We often don't see them but in today's world of social media we often hear about them. Illnesses, accidents, break-ups...innumerable hardships are shared with the world. Some earth shattering, some life changing and some are just unhappy with the cost of eggs. Some complain about the tribulations of parenting and their lack of sleep and some have unbearable financial woes while showing off their latest manicure. Hypocrisy and entitlement are alive and well. Some don't even realize they're the poster-children of these two rapidly growing sections of today's community.

I probably should just stop reading social media. Mostly it's depressing, angering and upsetting.

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I am convinced that much of my angst is due to age. It is indeed true that you can have it all and still have nothing. I am unconditionally grateful for all that I have!  I am not hungry (obviously.) I am not cold (bodily.) I am not physically uncomfortable (minus age related creeks, cracks and limitations.) I have wonderful friends and a small handful of amazing relatives. I have the majority of my mind in tact and the freedom to speak it freely... this has never been an issue. With all of these positive things, I am the most unhappy I have been in my nearly 71 years:-(

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My Golden years are tarnished and I'm not quite sure how...or if.... getting the shine back is something achievable.  I have the means but not sure I have the ability.  I have the desire but not fortitude.  

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