Parenting Successful Kids...Uh-oh

When I read articles about raising kids, I think about my kids raising their kids.  Maybe I should be thinking about how I raised them....... This morning I read this article: Every parent wants their children to be successful in life. Here are seven lessons that are common links between the relationship of parents and their successful kids. 

Hindsight's 20/20!  Here are there seven lessons:

1. They make their kids do chores:  Pretty straightforward and quite uncomplicated.  They learn life skills while learning responsibility!  I did this......my children do not!
2. They teach social skills:  I always told myself I would not have kids who shied away from meeting new people. ...albeit children or adults!  They would learn to look folks in the eye, shake hands firmly and leave saying, "It was nice to meet you!" I did this......for my children and theirs!
3. The family gets along: OOPS!  I failed, Jess's failing and Jeff and Lacie are trying very hard!!!!
4. Parents attended higher education and have good jobs!  Here it gets a bit tricky.  We attended college but did not finish. My children attended college but did not finish. Lacie, thankfully, attended and finished!!!  I am extremely hopeful that both Julia and Bailee will attend, complete and go on to be strong, successful women!  Jett will do whatever the heck he wants when he's damn good and ready.  I'm certain he will be successful at whatever he attempts.........I am also extremely fearful of what the next 16-20 years will offer in the way of opportunities and roadblocks! I will pray......I do that a lot lately! Who'da thought!  Good jobs....My Dad always said he was thankful that Lee knew how to make money because I certainly knew how to spend it.  I was fortunate to have a couple of jobs that taught me a lot. Both were in the public sector and both gave me insight into people and business.  After we were married, I traveled a bit with Lee in his job and then stayed home with the kids, kept the shop books and was Sandy-homemaker. All equally as important and educational as a check on Friday job!   My kids....pretty much successful as well. They still live week-to-week which has its definite downfall but I've helped them both financially and now they need to learn to save and help themselves.  I hope they realize that their children are watching.............!!!
5. Parents teach conflict and resolution: I did this....but I may have failed :-(  Moderate conflict is normal in EVERY family.  How it is handled is key. Parents must support compromise!  They must live it, thereby, teaching it.  Positive emotions are good emotions. They promote social skills, emotional security and self-esteem.  I thought I did it....my son does, my daughter does not!
6. Quality time over quantity:  That speaks for itself.  Once again, I thought I did it!  I certainly tried!  Today's world is a bit tougher.  Most families who are lucky enough to have two parents in the home find both parents working.  Small town families only have their schools and those activities provided to keep their kids active. There are very few farm families and way too many electronically occupied ones. If there are only minutes shared together, they must be quality minutes. Never...ever...pass your stress onto your child!!! Stress is an emotional contagion.  Children, of any age, can "catch" feelings from another person exactly as they would catch a cold.   Who would purposely pass on an illness to their child!?  As I said, I tried to reinforce both quality and quantity..... my son does, my daughter does NOT!  (I hope she will try harder before it's too late)
7. Valuing Effort vs. Focusing on Failure:  Whether you have a good job, poor job or even no job.....you can find value in your effort....if you exert it!  You may fail! You may succeed!  You will only do either if you try! I believe that I was successful in teaching my children the value of effort.  We seldom focused on failure whether it was on the motocross track or the English exams.  IF there were 20 questions on a test, and 10 were answered correctly, we focused on the value of the 10 correct and set our sights on answering 11 the next time!  I did this and I hope my kids do this!
8. I think there's a number 8. Self-worth........ We MUST like ourselves... There is something good about ALL of us. We all can do something well!  Find it, hone it, own it, boast about it and share it!  Depression is self-inflicted...therefore it is curable.   Stand tall, smile and be thrilled that you have a roof, a meal and a brain. 

 These 8 things aren't rocket science.  They're all about You and how you handle life.  Remember...as a parent, your EVERY move is teaching somebody something !!