Wright or Wrong

Is the work of Steven Wright......Wrong?  Thinking is one of my favorite pastimes. I actually think it should be a worthy subject taught at all levels of education.  I think it's actually what's wrong with the world.  We have doers, we need more thinkers.  Unfortunately many of the doers seldom think beforehand! I think one of my favorite things about Bailee (among the thousands) is she actually does think..Occasionally she is assisted by the thinking chair in her classroom or even the time out stool at Grandmas but nonetheless it facilitates thinking......and it works!
This morning I like the thinking of Steven Wright and I'm sharing....it's Friday and my thinker is tired.

                    The Work Of Steven Wright

If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famous erudite scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates". His mind sees things differently than most of us do. Here are some of his gems:

1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.

3 - Half the people you know are below average.

4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8 - If you want the rainbow, you've got to put up with the rain.

9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.

10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend...but she left me before we met.

12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?

13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.

19 - I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. ( just ask the VP......and me, today))

30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.. (♥)

31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film. (love this one)

34 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights 

And One of my new favorites from Sandy Right is: If your 1 a day vitamin bottle directs you to take 2 daily...is that an oxymoron?

OK...here's # 26 (did you think it was missing?) and my Friday way of thinking.....

26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking!

                                    Happy Week-end all ♥