Can you hear me now?

"Number Please"...those were the words I would hear each time I picked up the telephone.....back in the 50's and 60's.  I would answer by saying "628 please" (cottage number), or "429M3 please" (Lee's house) or even "Number 9 please".... that would connect me to Hewitt Brothers.  Within seconds, I could have asked..in Lily Tomlin fashion, "Is this the party to whom I'm speaking?"   It was all so very simple then!  Today, we have chosen to not have a hard-wired land line in our house. Who the hell ever thought I'd even be saying the words, "hard wired land line?"  We each have a cell phone and have chosen to have those be our only means of communication. I had recently decided that I would delve into the world of smart phones...an oxymoron for me.  Verizon is premiering the iPhone4 on their networks next week with an early introduction to it's existing customers this Thursday morning....and I mean morning.. 3 AM !  I can't believe I even entertained the idea of setting my alarm..(I'm not sure I even have an alarm,) No one is even assured they'll get one.. first come-first served! Anyway....with the new iPhone, I needed an extra data program, which of course was $20 + taxes.  The real reason I even wanted a new phone was to have a way to access Face Book and Yahoo mail while we were on the road.  The screen and fonts on my phone now are so small it frustrates me to connect and then even see the words.  So Jess said, "why don't you just get the Droid X.. It's all touch screen (which I Love) , it has Apps (OK), it's ALL screen with large fonts (cool) and we can SKYPE (see and talk to each other) each night" .  OK, Nix the iPhone and bring on the Droid.  Before we could order the Droid, we needed to upgrade my data plan.. OK, done...(we, being Jess)!  OK, really need to speak w/ a representative... done.  After all the rigamorole...my account would be charged with $323 and change..

I DON"T THINK SO!  A week of research, endless minutes conversing w/ a service representative, final phone decision made and I am now talking on...................... the same God-damned phone I've had for 2 years. I guess I'm a cheap SOB and one of the those darn dogs that are too old to teach new tricks! I think I'll see if I can get a ring tone that says, "Number Please!"

check the phone #'s on the calendar!