Memorable Week-end!

Relaxing and enjoyable....the best words to describe a weekend.  We were so happy that Bailee was here to spend the holiday weekend.  Jeff, Lace, and Jett were here for a quick swim, hot tub and burger on Saturday, Swimming and Texas Roadhouse on Sunday, breakfast with Jeff's crew and the Locke parade yesterday a.m. followed by some B and Papa time, more swimming, Eagle pix and mini Bar B Q.  Everybody was tuckered out last night so all hit the sack early to be ready to tackle another week.

School is winding down for Bailee.  She has a couple of busy weeks on the books including, Seabreeze, concerts, Bar BQs, Laser Tag, Sports Day, Honor's Assembly, Syracuse Drama Awards and moving up day............whew, I'm tired typing it all.

The crew is back to work on the pool deck (concrete.)  It will be so nice to have the dirt at bay and keep things clean and neat... a little decorating on tap too followed by the tile fence.  Fingers crossed that it's not a Pinterest fail!!!!  Josh has never let me down yet!!!

Parenting Successful Kids...Uh-oh

When I read articles about raising kids, I think about my kids raising their kids.  Maybe I should be thinking about how I raised them....... This morning I read this article: Every parent wants their children to be successful in life. Here are seven lessons that are common links between the relationship of parents and their successful kids. 

Hindsight's 20/20!  Here are there seven lessons:

1. They make their kids do chores:  Pretty straightforward and quite uncomplicated.  They learn life skills while learning responsibility!  I did this......my children do not!
2. They teach social skills:  I always told myself I would not have kids who shied away from meeting new people. ...albeit children or adults!  They would learn to look folks in the eye, shake hands firmly and leave saying, "It was nice to meet you!" I did this......for my children and theirs!
3. The family gets along: OOPS!  I failed, Jess's failing and Jeff and Lacie are trying very hard!!!!
4. Parents attended higher education and have good jobs!  Here it gets a bit tricky.  We attended college but did not finish. My children attended college but did not finish. Lacie, thankfully, attended and finished!!!  I am extremely hopeful that both Julia and Bailee will attend, complete and go on to be strong, successful women!  Jett will do whatever the heck he wants when he's damn good and ready.  I'm certain he will be successful at whatever he attempts.........I am also extremely fearful of what the next 16-20 years will offer in the way of opportunities and roadblocks! I will pray......I do that a lot lately! Who'da thought!  Good jobs....My Dad always said he was thankful that Lee knew how to make money because I certainly knew how to spend it.  I was fortunate to have a couple of jobs that taught me a lot. Both were in the public sector and both gave me insight into people and business.  After we were married, I traveled a bit with Lee in his job and then stayed home with the kids, kept the shop books and was Sandy-homemaker. All equally as important and educational as a check on Friday job!   My kids....pretty much successful as well. They still live week-to-week which has its definite downfall but I've helped them both financially and now they need to learn to save and help themselves.  I hope they realize that their children are watching.............!!!
5. Parents teach conflict and resolution: I did this....but I may have failed :-(  Moderate conflict is normal in EVERY family.  How it is handled is key. Parents must support compromise!  They must live it, thereby, teaching it.  Positive emotions are good emotions. They promote social skills, emotional security and self-esteem.  I thought I did it....my son does, my daughter does not!
6. Quality time over quantity:  That speaks for itself.  Once again, I thought I did it!  I certainly tried!  Today's world is a bit tougher.  Most families who are lucky enough to have two parents in the home find both parents working.  Small town families only have their schools and those activities provided to keep their kids active. There are very few farm families and way too many electronically occupied ones. If there are only minutes shared together, they must be quality minutes. Never...ever...pass your stress onto your child!!! Stress is an emotional contagion.  Children, of any age, can "catch" feelings from another person exactly as they would catch a cold.   Who would purposely pass on an illness to their child!?  As I said, I tried to reinforce both quality and quantity..... my son does, my daughter does NOT!  (I hope she will try harder before it's too late)
7. Valuing Effort vs. Focusing on Failure:  Whether you have a good job, poor job or even no job.....you can find value in your effort....if you exert it!  You may fail! You may succeed!  You will only do either if you try! I believe that I was successful in teaching my children the value of effort.  We seldom focused on failure whether it was on the motocross track or the English exams.  IF there were 20 questions on a test, and 10 were answered correctly, we focused on the value of the 10 correct and set our sights on answering 11 the next time!  I did this and I hope my kids do this!
8. I think there's a number 8. Self-worth........ We MUST like ourselves... There is something good about ALL of us. We all can do something well!  Find it, hone it, own it, boast about it and share it!  Depression is self-inflicted...therefore it is curable.   Stand tall, smile and be thrilled that you have a roof, a meal and a brain. 

 These 8 things aren't rocket science.  They're all about You and how you handle life.  Remember...as a parent, your EVERY move is teaching somebody something !!

Perfect Prom Pictures!

Saturday was Moravia's Junior Prom.  The day was perfect, the girls were gorgeous and the guys absurdly handsome!  Bailee and I arrived at the Kehoe's just in time to see Gabby and Emily hit the deck in their finery.  Two perfect dresses for two perfect juniors.  The backdrop of Skaneateles Lake and fresh, new, spring greenery added the just the right touch to photographs.  Each dress perfectly suited both Emily and Gabby! I must confess that Em's dress was my favorite of the night.... and the shoes were sheer perfection.  Their dates were humble, happy and handsome!

Soon, more family began to arrive. Josh Crull and his date Salla brought more good looks, beautiful attire and a new level of humor.  We sure do have a pretty amazing "Hatfield" clan!  It was wonderful to see sisters, cousins, aunts and more enjoy the night and send the kids off for a fun evening of dining and dancing!  Later they were all treated to a fastidiously planned after prom party where they could let down their hair, literally, and be the teenagers they loved to be!

So very proud of these kids (both family and friends) and their parents who were not just there when needed......but very much wanted.  It's not always that way!!

It was a lovely night for all who attended and all who got a sneak peek! Thanks for being such great kids!♥♥♥

Mother's Day.....misnomer?

Sunday was Mother's Day 2018! Traditionally  (at least in the past 4 years) we have celebrated Mom's Day here and Dad's Day at Pam and Greg's.  The men plan, purchase and prepare on the first holiday and the gals on the second...(like all the other 364 days!)  We always have too much food and tend to pig out on appetizers and be too stuffed to eat all the good entrees!  So, this year the decision was made to have steak, salad, and sweet corn.  Lacie always makes great appetizers and desserts.  Once again, she came through.....pull apart bread and brie, pears and bread pieces.  Greg brought shrimp and veggie pizza for our two non-meat eaters.  Jess's bf brought sweet corn.  Needless to say, we ate well and enjoyed cream cheese stuffed strawberries for dessert.

Jeff and Lacie are always creative when it comes to gifts. They made me the coolest hummingbird feeder. 4 feeders perched above a beautiful, flowering plant!  Those little critters were on it immediately.  They made Pam a lamp from a 1/2 gallon Tito's bottle.  Beautiful flowers, heartfelt cards and a day spent together made it so much fun.

Pam helped me lay out the tiles for my pool fence.  Many hands and heads make creative work easy! Soon it will all be together and we'll be swimming.

It was so nice having everyone back together. Julz, B and Jett have a way of making me smile.  Lee even did the dishes.  Soon it will be the Dad's day to celebrate......but wait, isn't that every day?

Sink or Swim

Well, I did it.  Years ago, we had an in-ground pool in Locke.  The kids were young, we were young, there were no trees around our site and we had a passel of friends who pitched in to help with the deck and the pool house.  We managed two graduation parties, numerous birthday celebrations, a fun, mini Hatfield reunion, a 20-year class reunion, and many fun days of diving, swimming and jumping contests.  We even survived concrete day when someone yelled "something" and the driver thought we were ready to open the chute.....WE WERE NOT!  That moment, thankfully, had all hands on deck (and in the water) to scoop cement as fast as we could...  We had 17 years of fun in that pool.  

Fast forward to May 2010! I thought we needed another pool AND a hot tub.  I regained consciousness and nixed the pool but got the hot tub.  Bailee and I enjoy it and occasionally a few others.

Fast forward yet again to February 2018.  It continues to snow and blow and be colder than a witch's you know what but those crazy pool ideas were resurfacing.  Bailee really needs to hone her swimming skills and all the pictures and videos from the Hatfield/Walter Mexican adventure told me that Jett was going to be a water enthusiast as well.  And you know the saying, "If you build it, they will come!"  My rationale also included the fact that I am NOT a fan of any temperatures over 80 and not one drop of humidity.  Did that justify spending the big bucks??? YEP..  I'm not a traveler! Many folks our age trek off to Florida or Arizona or one of those warm places to spend their winters. Those places have lots of bugs....I don't do bugs!  They have rainy, cool days too that spent inside defeat the purpose.  I don't mind the cold, I have heat! I don't mind the snow, I have a Pearl (my vehicle) and she has winter boots. My kids are here, my grandkids are here, my favorite place on earth is here and here is where I stay!!!! I'm old and I can do whatever the hell I please..(actually I did that when I was young too but nobody is here to throw it in my face!)     So..............I bought a pool!

Fast forward one more time to May 2018.  May 2nd at 7:18 a.m., my phone rings!  "How about a pool today?"  7:48 a.m., "We're loaded and on our way!"  9:10 a.m.three extremely competent men drive in with an excavator, a bobcat, pool paraphernalia and skills....mad, wicked skills!  4:10 p.m. the pool arrives! 5:15 p.m. the water arrives! 7:58 p.m. the Hatfields have a brand new, in-ground, fiberglass pool!!!

Since then, the electric has been installed, the heater will be heating soon, the new decorative fence is in the works, concrete will be finished before Memorial Day and black chain-link fence will be the last bit of installation to complete Project sink or swim! 

Every single supplier and installer, with the exception of Royal Pools (Tully, NY,) has been local.  I'm very proud of that and happy that we have such great businesses & contractors to draw from right here in our area:

• Stone - O'Toole's Gravel Bed
• Water - Water Boy (Doug and Rich Winters)
• Decorative Fencing - Josh Weeks ( possibly the best all-round carpenter, etc ANYWHERE)
• Chain Link Fencing - Kirksway (Bill Kirk)
• Electrical  - Al Kemp and Josh Weeks
• Propane - Phelps Propane
• Concrete - Kehoe's Concrete Concepts
• Swimmers - Jeff and Lacie Hatfield and Jess Brown (grandkids)

       
                                                        ♥Comic from Grandpa Wendell♥

Words

Reading and writing are two of my favorite things, of the non-human category!  Lately, the words have been sucked out of me and quiet time floods me with memories that run down my face and bring thoughts of happier times.  So many emotions make me weary:-( 

I read this yesterday:

       Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement, or destructively using words of despair. Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble.

It's our choice how we choose to use them!  I have not always made good choices.  I'm sorry....mostly.  I was born without a filter. Generally, that bodes well for me. I'm seldom second-guessing what I should have said because I actually said it!! I never purposefully say something to hurt someone. In my head (and then out my lips) I am confident that whatever I uttered was exactly what they needed to hear.   Sometimes, in hindsight, it was more of exactly what I needed to say! Either way, I usually felt better.  Now, after 6.5 decades, I'm trying to think a little more and say a little less.  It's a work in progress and I'm not sure I have enough remaining decades to perfect it..but I'm trying.

Some words I do love to say are "Thank you", "You're welcome" (that would not be YOUR welcome,) and "I love you!"  The last three were never offered much growing up. It was only in the last years of both Mom and Dad's lives that they flowed freely!  I'm thinking it was just something generational.  I try to say it often and I NEVER say it if I don't feel it. I tell my kids, (the ones who'll listen,) my grandkids and my good friends.... because if I say it....I mean it.   I have a deep affection for many but I love many too. Blood IS thicker than water...and this is why! It's a misquoted saying that most use to justify choosing family bonds over the bonds that we make by choice. Well, guess what folks?  It means exactly the opposite!  The actual saying is "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb"  Those words actually mean that the bonds you've made by choice are more important than the people that you are bound to by the water of the womb. HUH! So now we know that those words reflect the fact that the bonds you choose for yourself can mean much more than the ones you don't have much say in!!!  I already knew that but now I have validation.  It's almost parallel to the never-ending nature vs. nurture debate... but that's a subject for a different day.

Today I say "Thank you" to those who follow me and put up with my ramblings. I'll try to do better in the future...for everyone....after all, blood is thicker than water 💓😉